Script Draft 1 Evaluation

• Let the actor work out his own emotions
• He doesn't jump back, he double takes
• Remember how big things are going to be in the frame
• Make it more cinematic, and contain it more
• Don't make it obvious what he's doing - let the audience move into it with their imagination
• Remove the part about him sticking his tongue out of his mouth)
• Replace "Darts to the side" with "He shifts slightly" (shorten down the phrase)
• He's got to be recording it and looking past the camera
• She moves very slowly, and at some point he starts to panic.
• He's probably recording right from the very beginning.
• We don't see him at the very start, we see the side of his face (his eye), then the face comes into the view, we see the other eye, the thumb is about to stop the recording,
• Giving the film a bit more texture, she will become wide open space, but start off in his claustrauphobic world, spacially making it very compact.
• Show his eye again when he sees the face of the woman, we see the startle in his eye
• Wiristic feel when we don't know who the character is.
• Get my actor to feel his movements
• Don't tell him what to do (tongue etc.)
• Describe to him his life; he lives at the top of the house, with old lady, top of a hill, so he can think and feel as a person, tell them who they are, let them act it out.
• Remove "at a fast pace", let the actor act it out.
• Maybe after he said no, he tries to dart around and looses his footing, tries to get up behind the camera
• She is filming him through an iphone, he is now in a difficult situation.
• Maybe he goes to come down, she tells him to go back and get his camera, he comes back with it and she sees the footage of the stream etc.
• She says "What do you think of the view?"
• He says "It's beautiful." (submeaning; he means the woman is beautiful)
• Both smile at each other.
• He finally has the contact he has already wanted.
• Audience now sees what that person needs, and it has come in an unlikely way.
• Key points:
• Too theatrical (strip out exaggerated movement)
• Its neccesary on the podium in theatre, not here though
• Don't have actors do so much
• Direction - elicit that by giving back the story later
• Do not bring a new character so far into the story
• The message wasn't really getting across.
• Now I see they both need contact.
• How do you find that symettrty?
• How do you create a strong metaphor through this symmetry
• Not having him fully dart back before he's shouted, he has to try and get back to the camera through concealment, and when he looks through the lens, he sees the girl filming him. 
• Infinite reflection (chemical brothers) reality reflected through a relfection of a reflection of a reflection